Are Caregivers Blessed?????--I think so!!!!

I have been communicating (via the internet or support groups) with a lot of other Caregivers for a number of years and I see and feel so much pain and anguish in their lives. Many of them seem to blame God for the slow death they see their LO going through. They could have trouble describing their life as Blessed. So many Caregivers feel angry with God. Or certainly disappointed and confused over their understanding of A Loving God and His Son Jesus Christ. They question how a God could let this horrible situation exist in their lives. But,---- many of the Caregivers have a very strong belief in God and want to trust in Him for what they are going through. The patients vary all over the map as to their cognitive abilities and may have beliefs but are not able to communicate their faith. Others have just plain lost their apparent memory of their beliefs in anything. The patient does not have much hope to ever recover their memories. But---- the Caregivers have time to find God as their comforter, their counselor, and their need to develop a closer relationship with our Savior and our Lord. I feel that I am Blessed in this opportunity to care for Carol under the Lord's leadership. He is our piolot.

The A.D. person we used to know is now gone. I still love the current Carol but I miss the old Carol & realize that she is not likely to return. Another sad part is that I have now lost my own memory of who Carol used to be. I can not remember her smile, her laughter, our conversations, our 49 years of marriage. I have heard from other Caregivers that after our LO physically dies, the Caregiver usually gets the old memories back. I know that God has not forgotten us but I also have to constantly remind myself that I am still serving my Lord as his witness in these current times. It just isn’t the same witnessing as others might consider in their ministry. The sermon in our church last week spoke directly to the ears and understanding of a Caregiver. It was asking the question of “What are you hungry for.” The subject was that we are CRAVING for SIGNIFICANCE. It is good for all Christians to crave significance. Several of us agreed to this sermon’s impact on our life as Caregivers. Our significance is found in our relation ship with Christ. I was Created, Recreated and CALLED to;

Learn from Jesus
Commit to be a Servant
Move towards spiritual sacrifice (not just servitude)

You can listen or download this sermon, April 19, 2009 at:

http://rockwall.lakepointe.org/OnlineMessage/current_message.aspx

Listen to it with the heart of a Caregiver. I think you will feel BLESSED!!! bill

CAREGIVERS

Have you ever thought where our country would be without Caregivers to take care of our Alzheimer’s patients in the U.S. The costs to Medicare, Medicaid, Insurance, and state programs is over $148 million for the 5.3 million cases in the U.S. The costs to the Caregivers is bigger than that because gov programs do not cover much of the Cost of home care provided by caregivers. We have spouses taking care of spouses, children taking care of parents and/or in-laws and some siblings taking care of siblings. The health and death toll among the caregivers is staggering. It is a very hard job and most of it is 24/7. I have a lady that comes to our house 3 days a week for 6 hrs/day. She is a great help to both Carol and I but it is still very exhausting to me. I also have two children and 6 grandkids in Rockwall and of course that is a big benefit.

I want to tell you a little about the Caregivers I have communicated with since 2005 through message boards on Alzheimer’s Assoc and a private Blog called thealzheimerspouce.com Other folks are mostly ladies but there are a lot of men. Our outlook on caregiving is somewhat different for men vs woman but the main ties are basically the same. We still have to deal with the memory loss, the emotional problems, the anger outbursts, personal hygiene is a major problem, especially as incontinence reaches each family. My respect for the caregivers I have met is of the highest order and I ask each reader here to pray for the Caregivers as well as the patients. One of the oldest and still best reference book is “The 36 Hour Day” which kind of tells you the total and complete involvement of taking care of the Alzheimer’s patient.

Carol is on the Prowl for BABIES

Many of the experts say that late term AD patients have the mental level of a 2 yr. old child. I don’t know about that but Carol sure likes to watch and talk to young children. We purposely go to McDonalds, IHOP, and CiCi’s so that we can see the children. Sometime they are sitting closely and they seem to know that Carol loves them because they keep looking back at her and making faces when she makes faces at them. We have calling cards with “Thank you for being patient with my Wife. She has Alzheimer’s.” and I give one to the parents so they won’t think we are crazy. The results are just great. Once the mother encouraged her two girls to go over and talk to that nice lady. They came over to our booth. The smallest climbed up beside Carol and actually gave her a hug and a kiss. I just wish that Carol could have remembered it longer. We used to work in the nursery once a month and that was always a good day but I had to give it up because my severally degenerated back made me worry that I might fall when picking them up and/or carrying them. But Carol still seems to have a vague memory of our Sundays with the Babies.

CAROL ELDRIDGE AND AD

Carol has had (AD), Alzheimer’s disease, since about 1996. First symptoms were loss of short term memory. Her Drs. finally ruled out other possibilities in 2003 and we were ready to accept Alzheimer’s as the cause of her dementia and loss of cognitive ability. Carol stopped driving (reluctantly) 3-4 years ago and it was very hard for her to accept. Her ability to cook, and do more than minor items around the house ended about that time. Alzheimer’s Assoc. list 7 stages AD and Carol progressed through most of them. Many patients skip around or even skip a stage altogether. Carol is now in stage #6 and moving into stage #7. You can go to the Alz.org below and read about the 7 stages.

http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_stages_of_alzheimers.asp#stage5

Carol does not remember any of your names but usually recognizes your face and will try to talk to you. Unfortunately you probably won’t understand her. Conversation with her is almost impossible but she still enjoys it. She still handles eating OK and does not seem to have any physical failures like continence. I am dreading stage #7. She does like to “talk” to you and likes a hug. She loves to drive around and eat out. Church and ABF is the highlight of her week. I will try to post her “Christian testimony” soon. She wrote it as about the last thing she was able to do on the computer herself. Quit playing bridge and solitaire on computer at about the same time.She received a pacemaker in 2005 and no longer has any of the episodes of nausea, vomiting, passing out that she had experienced every month or so. Her heart was simply pausing and causing the problems. Nothing to do with Alzheimer’s apparently. I’ll be posting on frequent occasions and hope you will appreciate what Carol and I are going through. I also hope you will be able to understand the horrible results on all patients and their caregivers. It is a horrible way to die and so far that is the only outcome. I look forward to hearing from you.

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Bill & Carol