I'm often asked by many of you, our friends, what you can do to help(?). It's hard for me to answer that some of the time. I've been encouraged to make a little list, (below). If you find it in your heart to choose from this list, or if it gives you another idea, we'll love and appreciate you even more! I have a Helper (from Ghana) that comes over three days a week for a few hours. She cooks lunch and does the laundry and other light housekeeping. But mostly, she entertains Carol by looking at pictures, or playing with her 3 month old baby boy that Carol loves. But Carol does not like it when I leave for any reason (except maybe a Doctors visit) and is angry when I get back. Almost not worth it. But Carol does like to:
Go to movies
Drive around the county
Drive through residential neighborhoods.
And of course go to Church.
She likes to eat out and her manners are not embarrassing, just a little slow
She likes people to come by and visit (but conversation is almost impossible)
She likes to look at any kind of picture. Mildred brought her pic’s of her mission trip to Ghana
I could use any kind of meal, (casserole, salad, sandwich, etc.) for evenings.
I also need conversation with other adults but that is hard because Carol wants to be included.
If you would like to help and any of these items appeal to you, I am sure open. Alzheimer’s is very hard on the Caregiver. The constant attention it requires is never ending. And it is so sad to see the one you love loose her brain right in front of you. Ronald Reagans daughter wrote the book “THE LONG GOODBYE!” which is very appropriate. We still have hope but it is not because of any cure that is even on the horizon. We hope they find it sooner rather than later.
Thank you, Carol and Bill
27 September, 2009
ReplyDeleteBill, when I read the latest comments on the howiscaroldoing blog,it reminded me so much of Lillie that before I finished, I had tears in my eyes. It is so painful to see your LO, the bright loving vital girl you married slowly descending into an abyss of lost memories and capabilities The love that one felt is still there; the "wanting to help", anything you can do to aid her, and yet feeling the frustration,knowing,in your heart, that she will never be as she was.
Lillie was a registered nurse who had run whole floors of major hospitals; she had spent her life caring for others. She was a cardiovascular nurse who took care of some of the first heart transplant cases, and now she is the one who needs constant care.
Bill, be patient with Carol and give her all the love and understanding she needs. That is now your ministry; to see that she is happy. I know you will be there for her as long as necessary. God Bless You.
Forgive me for writing this blog. I know what you both are going through. I pray that our Almighty God will bless and protect you both.