I have been communicating (via the internet or support groups) with a lot of other Caregivers for a number of years and I see and feel so much pain and anguish in their lives. Many of them seem to blame God for the slow death they see their LO going through. They could have trouble describing their life as Blessed. So many Caregivers feel angry with God. Or certainly disappointed and confused over their understanding of A Loving God and His Son Jesus Christ. They question how a God could let this horrible situation exist in their lives. But,---- many of the Caregivers have a very strong belief in God and want to trust in Him for what they are going through. The patients vary all over the map as to their cognitive abilities and may have beliefs but are not able to communicate their faith. Others have just plain lost their apparent memory of their beliefs in anything. The patient does not have much hope to ever recover their memories. But---- the Caregivers have time to find God as their comforter, their counselor, and their need to develop a closer relationship with our Savior and our Lord. I feel that I am Blessed in this opportunity to care for Carol under the Lord's leadership. He is our piolot.
The A.D. person we used to know is now gone. I still love the current Carol but I miss the old Carol & realize that she is not likely to return. Another sad part is that I have now lost my own memory of who Carol used to be. I can not remember her smile, her laughter, our conversations, our 49 years of marriage. I have heard from other Caregivers that after our LO physically dies, the Caregiver usually gets the old memories back. I know that God has not forgotten us but I also have to constantly remind myself that I am still serving my Lord as his witness in these current times. It just isn’t the same witnessing as others might consider in their ministry. The sermon in our church last week spoke directly to the ears and understanding of a Caregiver. It was asking the question of “What are you hungry for.” The subject was that we are CRAVING for SIGNIFICANCE. It is good for all Christians to crave significance. Several of us agreed to this sermon’s impact on our life as Caregivers. Our significance is found in our relation ship with Christ. I was Created, Recreated and CALLED to;
Learn from Jesus
Commit to be a Servant
Move towards spiritual sacrifice (not just servitude)
You can listen or download this sermon, April 19, 2009 at:
http://rockwall.lakepointe.org/OnlineMessage/current_message.aspx
Listen to it with the heart of a Caregiver. I think you will feel BLESSED!!! bill
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Haven't listened to the Lakepointe message yet. But a verse from 1 peter comes to mind. "If you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed (1 Peter 3:14)"
ReplyDeleteBill, I too wish we could talk of faith and the inner struggles that this illness or any illness can cause on thealzheimerspouse but thank you for allowing it here.
ReplyDeleteBill, I agree that this illness can challenge our faith. In 1987 or so we had Art anointed and prayed for to break the generational tie to AD. We lived believing it would not happen. I refused to acknowledge the signs because so many say that if you acknowledge you are giving in to the enemy. Now we deal with people telling us we did not have enough faith thus the reason he got sick.
I am struggling with not being angry at God saying he didn't honor our prayer. But, I also know that our will is not always His will and this includes illnesses that we pray against. Some say that attitude is not having faith, but I say it is letting God control the situation. As for me, He only promised perfect health in heaven, not on Earth.
I haven't listened to the recording yet, but will try to.
Hi Charlotte, thanks for your comment. I likewise have prayed a lot for a cure to AD but now will just pray for improvements, less anger, continued good physical health and help me to keep her happy. But I am now praying for an opportunity to be a good witness during these tough times. CU
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