THANKSGIVING UPDATE-2009

I will try to decipher some things that Carol might be Thankful at this time in her rapidly declining life.  Some ideas that come to mind, in no particular order:

1. She still sleeps good at night and sometimes an afternoon nap with me.  We go to bed soon after it gets dark but I try to keep her awake until at least 8:00 pm.  She awakes soon after daybreak. Sleeps very solidly.
2. She is still is able to go to bathroom by herself but I usually remind her.  She seems to have a larege bladder which is something I am very thankful for.  A few minor accidents but not using Depends yet.
3. She is still able to walk though it is more like a shuffle.  A couple of trips but onlly one fall and this is another big thing -   Thank you Lord!
4. She still likes to eat and does OK in this dept.  I have to prepare food and serve her and then cut up her food.  Does not drink much unless I coax her. Try to keep a Coke out all day so that she will get some liquid.  Water is sometimes OK at mealtime.  Also Crystal Light Peach Tea.
5. Her sensory ability is noticibly declining.  Especially her smell and taste.  She now eats some things she hasn't eaten since we have been married.  Things like onions, brown bread, cottage cheese, sour cream, and even ate some of my corn beef hash the other morning. Her smelling ability has almost vanashed which makes my male bad habits go unnoticed.  I am not sure she hears as good but definitely does not understand most words.  Her speech is virtually gone except for a very few words or phrases.  Still says " I love you"  and Thank you.  Go is a major expression because she love to go places.  I call her my Go  Go  Girl. 
6. Not only does she profess to love me, she follows me around the house all the time.  Does not like to be left alone.  In the kitchen, she is right behind or beside me whatever I am doing.  But she can not really help anymore.  Still try to get her to help me put away the dishes from the dishwasher but it is not very successful.
7. Her favorite pastime is looking at pictures, or albums or picture magazines.  She acts like she is explaining what she is looking at but we seldom know what she is saying.  They call it babbling and it is so sad, because I know she wants to talk to me but most of the times she accepts that I don't know what she is saying.  I think it hurts me more than it does her.
8. I am thankful that Carol does not seem to realize how much she has lost.  It would be devastating to her and unbearable to live.  Sometimes, she cries and she can't tell me what is wrong.  I assume that she is experiencing some kind of realization that something is wrong.  She used to ask questions about her disease and if she would ever get well.  Now, I hear nothing but just witness the blank look on her face.  It is very hard to see her dieing a little more each day.  I think a big day of Thanksgiving will be when she gets to join Jesus in Heaven. 
9. We are especially thankfur for all our friends from the neighborhood and church who have been so kind by bringing prepared meals.  They have been excellant and much better than my cooking.  Many have also come by to visit and stay with Carol while I take a little break or respite.  You're great friends.  
10. We are both thankful to have a baby in the house 3 days a week when Addy comes to help us.  Carol does seem to enjon Caleb or as I call him-"bigaboy!"

Hope I was not too descriptive.  I will try to add some things as time goes on.   Love to you all!!!!! Bill

Some have asked if we could use your Help!!

I'm often asked by many of you, our friends, what you can do to help(?). It's hard for me to answer that some of the time. I've been encouraged to make a little list, (below). If you find it in your heart to choose from this list, or if it gives you another idea, we'll love and appreciate you even more! I have a Helper (from Ghana) that comes over three days a week for a few hours. She cooks lunch and does the laundry and other light housekeeping. But mostly, she entertains Carol by looking at pictures, or playing with her 3 month old baby boy that Carol loves. But Carol does not like it when I leave for any reason (except maybe a Doctors visit) and is angry when I get back. Almost not worth it. But Carol does like to:

Go to movies
Drive around the county
Drive through residential neighborhoods.
And of course go to Church.
She likes to eat out and her manners are not embarrassing, just a little slow
She likes people to come by and visit (but conversation is almost impossible)
She likes to look at any kind of picture. Mildred brought her pic’s of her mission trip to Ghana
I could use any kind of meal, (casserole, salad, sandwich, etc.) for evenings.
I also need conversation with other adults but that is hard because Carol wants to be included.

If you would like to help and any of these items appeal to you, I am sure open. Alzheimer’s is very hard on the Caregiver. The constant attention it requires is never ending. And it is so sad to see the one you love loose her brain right in front of you. Ronald Reagans daughter wrote the book “THE LONG GOODBYE!” which is very appropriate. We still have hope but it is not because of any cure that is even on the horizon. We hope they find it sooner rather than later.

Thank you, Carol and Bill

MIRACLE MEMORY

Today, I took Carol to the movie about Julia Childs. As we were walking from handicap parking, around the bldg to the theater entrance, Carol pulled an old memory out of her brain. When we were still about 20 yards to the few stairs, Carol reminded me that " right up in front is where you fell before" (or something like that!) The fall did happen but it was 2 yrs ago last Jan. There is nothing even close to this old memory that she remembers. When we got to the stairs, I pointed to the placed I fell and she seemed to agree. It was a very dramatic occasion. I was bleeding badly and had sore knee and arm. Someone called 911 and we were transported to the emergency room. Presbyterian Hosp, Rockwall, sent me and ambulance to Presby. Dallas because their MRI machine was out of order. Presby decided that main damage was a broken nose, but no concussion or skull damage. Guess that shows what a hard head I am. I thought I had damage to my right eye but Dr finally decided that it was Macular Degeneration. Thought you would get a better understanding of what Carol might have remembered. She does recogonize pictures of family members, especially her mother, father and of course her siblings and her children.




If you want to leave a comment, just click on the comment below and look at bottom of screen for an open box. Would love to hear from you. bill

What's it like from Carol's side of the brain?

It is so hard for us to understand what is going on in our Loved Ones (LO) brain. The brain is loaded with thousands of cells, jangles, protons, neurons, etc. All very complicated for most of us. But the end result is a lot of dead and dying cells. These cells do a lot of things like causing us to breath, smell, see, talk, eat, and most important to this discussion-----to think and remember. Carol has lost most of her long term as well as short term memory. She does not know what day it is. What your name is. Where we live. How many kids and grandkids we have. but she does recogonize a friendly face that somehow turns her happy and even talkative. But the words are very hard to make any sense. Sometimes we do recognize a word or two but a sentance is almost impossible to recogonize. But it is so hard to visualize what Carol is seeing or thinking. It has to be hard for her brain to not recogonize what is going on. What are people saying, What she needs to do, say or what!

Taking a bath is something that seems to go early. She really looses her composure in the morning at bath time. I think it has something to do with her pride. She has always taken her baths without any assistance but now she finds me drawing the bath, putting in the bubble bath and urging her to get in the tub. It really makes her mad. From her side, the part of her brain that gives her independance and she thinks I am taking it away. I am the bad guy. Sometimes I am the "Devil". Then when she is in the tub, it even gets harder. The use of soap and the reason for it have been lost. I try to give her help and instructions but again, that is her territory and I am intruding.

At meal times, I might ask Carol to hand me a knapkin but pointing at the holder. She sees the direction but has no idea what it is I am asking for. She might touch a fork, a saltl shaker, etc. Naturally it is frustrating for me, but think what it must be from her side. She wants to help and do something when asked but does not know what. And the sad part, she sometimes realizes that she does not understand what I am asking. All she might see is a table full of stuff that she can not name. I ask her to get the milk out of fridge and she tries to open the right door but has no idea what I am asking for. from her side, it is just more confusion.

She loves to look at picture albums and does recoganize people like her dad, mother, brother and sister and knows who they are. Not their names but at least the family relationship. She recoginizes the grandkids but not who they belong to. She does recogonize Carman and Eric but not when I am trying to tell her where we are going and whose house it is.

Carol's Brain has lost so many cognitive cells in her brain that she really can't carry on conversations, does not know the name of anything, can not put things away where they belong, or even know that we still love her. Her brain turns to anger when it gets confused and that is usually at her caregiver, which is usually me. These bad things are not her fault and I have to constantly remind myself that those things from the past are gone, apparently for ever. Yes, she dies a little everyday and that is very sad.

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Kitty is now KittyBoy

I took Kitty in to be neutered as required by the animal shelter. Came back the next day and the Vet had a surprise for me. Miss Kitty was a boy. so now we call herXXXX KittyBoy. He does not like the pink collar I bougth for his predecessor. But the reason for getting the kitty cat in the beginning has not changed. He is still a pleasure to have around the house. Carol lets him sleep in her lap or beside her quite often. He is g etting so big but still a kitten. After getting him declawed, she does not get scratclhe as much but still does not like the sharp teeth. does like the playfulness and just running around. Kitty and Bubba are getting along OK but the old cat still gets irritated by the youngster.

OUR LAST VACATION WITH Mimi

The following is an e-mail sent by the best daughter-in-law, Wendy, to my daughter Carman. I thought Carol's friends might like to see it.

"The picture of your dad holding your mom while she floated and sang in the waves clung to me as I think back about our vacation.

It struck me how much trouble your dad went through – first to get her into her bathing suit ,which was an ordeal in itself, then enduring the walk while she pinched him and complained, then the anger and more complaining as he got her past the waves and surf into calmer waters. She had so little understanding of what was going on around her and the joy that awaited her while he guided her gently and patiently to the sand bank.

This was such a good lesson for me and our kids of your dad’s love for your mother; but also of our Father’s love for us. How many times we complain and grumble when we do not like our circumstances and wonder where He is leading us. If we would only trust Him and know that He loves us and wants only good things for us. Then the uncomfortable circumstances -- the nuisance of water splashing on our face – will be so insignificant compared to the joy of being held in Him arms and being in His embrace.

Would it not be simpler if we did not fight Him, complaining all the way, but follow or be led and enjoy walking alongside the our bridegroom."----Wendy Eldridge

If you want to add a comment, just click the word "comment" below and a window will come up. We would like to hear from you, bill

BEACH VACATION

Our kids and I agreed to take a go at one more beach vacation this year. We selected a condo on Mustang Island, near Corpus Christi and rented a 3 BR Condo that slept 11 on beds and couches. It was cozy but real good bonding for all of us. One day we had a niece and her daughter and friend came to visit but stayed nearby in a motel. Carol certainly had some times of total confusing but most of the time she seemed very happy. She did like our walk out into the surf, 3rd bar where it was chest deep, or deeper at times. It was difficult to get her out there by me and daughter, Carman the first time. Our hands got squeezed strongly but then the first wave seemed to thrill her and she totally relaxed. So much so that her legs usually floated up and she was content to let us hold her up under arms. Stayed out a long time first and second days and would not trade that experience for anything. See the Post by our daughter in law, Wendy Eldridge, mother of 4 of our grandkids.

The 8 ½ hour drive down was very tiring but I did have my grandson, Alex, help with the driving, even though he still drives like a teenager. On the way back, I did all the driving and was very tired when we got back. But no problem in the car. A lot of signs got pointed out and described in her own unique language. Also had an hour or more of fun folding and unfolding a highway map. Had a few little naps going down but some much longer naps coming back. I had messed up her medications and gave her the evening meds, with her seroquel, in the morning before we left. She had some long naps with head bent over so far, I was afraid she would hurt her neck.

My daughter was an angel and helped me so much taking care of Carol. She helped with her shower and shampoo after each beach visit plus took her on some shopping trips. Son Eric also helped a lot, especially at the beach when I took some naps. Carman even shared her swim suit, and shorts with her mother. My blood pressure was high and I took more than normal. Have already sent a fax to my cardiac Dr about changing my dosage. I kept records of my high pressure. Eric’s and Carman’s kids were real sweet to MiMi, my DW, and she enjoyed all the attention. I know she will enjoy looking at all the pictures the kids took.

We call this our last vacation with MiMi but she has progressed more slowly at other times so another trip is possible but not very likely. Take your good, family trips while you can. The memories will surely last several lifetimes.

If you want to add your comment and/or memories, just click on the word "content" below and share with us. bill

"Kitty" seems to be best medicine yet!!!!!

Asked our Grand Daughter to help find a kitten that might keep Carol company, entertained, and happy. We checked the local animal shelter and found about 20 kittens up for adoption. Narrowed it down to 3 and asked Raena, GD, to pick one she thought would be best choice. She picked a female with white chest, and leg boots under blalck body with brown, black, and white mixed on face. Carol finally got used to Kitty and they are now enjoying each other. Claws a little sharp for Carol's thin skinned legs so need to learn how to clip her nails or might have to have her de-clawed. Carol just raves about how cute and sweet she is.

Gave up on finding a name that Carol understood and just stayed with "Kitty" ------the KISS principle!!!!!.

I asked some of the other spouces on thealzheimerspouce.com "message" board about maybe getting a small puppy and had a lot of recommendations but the paper training task scared me off. We have a big black cat and all the litter boxes, etc. but most of all it felt easiest for me. The miniature dogs would probably have been as good, if not better but the house training of a young puppy just seemed more that I could handle. "If it ain't a problem, don't make it one".

Our big black male cat is not sure about Kitty at all. Not afraid but maybe jealous. He has swatted at Kitty several times. But I have hopes they get to be friends or at least put up with each other.

Click “comments” below if you want to send us a comment. Thanks, bill

I'M BACK TO 24/7

Our very sweet Helper, Addy, just had a baby boy this morning. 8 lbs. We are giving her a baby shower Sunday afternoon. I will miss her cause she gave me about 18 hrs of respite each week. I did not always go anywhere but it did allow me to do some chores and even tried to take a little nap while Addy was here. I would have Addy take Carol to a movie, once a week. Carman will try to fill in some since she is out of school for the summer, but still very busy with her kids and so many summer activities.

Some of you have asked in the past if you could help. Well, I do think I would accept your offers now. Carol likes to go to movies, drive around and look at new residential areas or just the cows and horses. She will usually get mad at me after a little while for not being with her. I am her security blanket but she often gets very angry at me. She still eats out fairly well, especially hamburgers, fries, cole slaw. Likes fried fish, shrimp, chicken planks, pot roast and fried okra. She eats more things than that but those are handled at cafes easier.

But we both like to have visitors and sit around and have some adult conversation. We won’t understand Carol all the time but we just say, OK, sure, that’s nice, I don’t know, or almost anything in reply.

You can email us at billeldridge2@att.net or make a comment on this blog but simply clicking on the word “comments” just below this Post. Always love to read your replies.

So there you go. This is my life these days. Addy brought me some relief and some fun time with Carol. I love visiting with you any time, and breaks are always GREAT.

Love from Carol and Bill

How is Bill doing???

Some of you have asked about me so I thought I would tell a little about my health. My latest problem is my heart. Going to Heart Dr. today to discuss a siege of low blood pressure and low heart rate late last week. My family Dr suggested I go see my Heart Dr today and I have a 11:20 appointment. Friday and Sat my blood pressure bounced around 90/40and 100/50 but heart rate was down to 33, 37, 40 with some really bothersome light headiness some dizziness and weakness. They have stopped my Atenolol and a pacemaker has been mentioned.

Heart Dr said that it looks like my Atrial Fibralation had come back. I had trouble with my Heart Rate 4 years ago but medicine has kept it regular since then. Dr wants to tinker with my medication and see if I am not in need of a Pacemaker. But I will have to take Coumadin for now and that makes my larms and legs real bruised and so easy to bleed.

This is my Robert Duvall look alike!!!!!
Otherwise back to other health problems, my severely degenerated (arthritis) joints, knees, lumbars, and terrible rotator cuffs. My hip replacement has been great. Right eye still has Macular Degeneration but shots and drops have made it much better. Same eye is also always dry and requires tear drops often. Use a cane or maybe my walker to hopefully prevent any more falls. My balance is certainly not what I would like. Hearing continues to be a problem, especially in hearing Carol who naturally speaks too softly for me. Too overweight but I am working on that. (Not easy for me, I love to eat----a major sin in my life) Triglcyrides are too high and taking Rx Lovasa. Part of my triglcyrides probably conneceted to my Reflux problem which I have had for years. Have to sleep on a wedge. Dr said I seem to have pre-diabetis. Otherwise I am a walking, breathing, listening CAREGIVER!!!!!

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Come see us. We love visitors!!!! Bill

REPORT #2 ON CAROL

AD is still in control. I just try to find as much happiness for Carol all during the day. Her Anger spells have improved quite a bit and when she does have one, it seems to be her pride and self esteem that are hurting. She wakes up most mornings and crys. She can’t tell me but I can tell she is talking about her inability to do things. It is so sad. I hurry and get up and get us dressed. I have to help her with her bath, her make-up, help select her clothes, etc. She does try to make up the bed and it looks OK when she is done. She can brush her hair, put on her mascara after I hand it to her. She can put on her foundation, etc if I guide her a little. She really does not know that she looks better with her make up. This is just recent. Picture above is Carman giving her mother, Carol, a shampoo.

Breakfast is next and she can feed herself but I have to get out the cereal, bowl, spoon and milk. Only thing she still tries to do in the kitchen is wipe the tables and counters, also the floor with a napkin. I try to let her put away the dishes and glasses from the dish washer but it we have to really guide her as to where things go. She eats well but a little slow because she gets sidetracked with looking at anything with pictures. At restaurants, she really enjoys the presence of children and waves to them, makes faces, and often stops on the way out to talk to them. I have a card that I sometimes give to waitress and parents of the children. It says “Thank you for being patient with my Wife. She has Alzheimer’s”. I don’t want people to thing she is senile. But it is surprising to me how people do not seem to understand. On the other hand, many will say that a relative or friend of theirs has Alzheimer’s.

Carol still loves movies, especially Cinemark and even at home on TV. She laughs at the right time and seems to be able to follow some of the movie. But she can loose interest real quick. Addy took her to Cinemark yesterday and Carol griped from the start of the movie with Jamie Fox, so Addy took her down the hall to another movie and Carol was perfectly happy. Carol still likes to talk but most of the time it is very hard to figure out what she is saying. Sometimes I can figure it out by hand movements, or just one key word because she does tell the same stories over and over.

Physically, she is in pretty good shape. We have been working on a UTI lately but I was glad to hear it was that instead of incontinence. She sleeps well at night and often naps during the day while she is watching TV. She shuffles more now but no indication of imbalance or falling. Sees and hears very good but her ability to smell and taste have really declined. Carol still enjoys talking to our friends, even though she may not remember your name or from where she knew you . Thank you for your consideration and understanding.

If you want to add your own comment, just click on the word "comments" below.

bill

CAROL'S PERSONAL TESTIMONY, 2000

I found this Word Document on Carol's computer just a few years ago. I had never heard her talk about this great day in her life with this much detail. I thought you might like to read it.


"I was raised in a wonderful Christian home. My Father was a young Deacon and Mother worked in the nursery. The first time Jesus spoke to me about giving myself to him was in 1943. I was seven years old. The Lord spoke to me in church one Sunday in March and I instantly understood what our pastor had been preaching about – when he said we needed to give our live to Jesus.

This was in the middle of World War II and we were flooded with radio news about the war. Every evening after supper we would gather around the radio to hear war reports. We were to knit sweaters, grow food in our back yards, ration sugar and could not buy tires for our car. The whole country sacrificed for the war. Every Sunday I would ask my grandmother to move us closer to the front of the church. Closer to Jesus. Finally, one night, I could not go to sleep. I tiptoed into Daddy’s bed for a talk. I asked him, “Daddy – is it alright to love Jesus more than the war?” He explained that Jesus is the most important person in the world. More than war, cars and gasoline. We talked about giving my life to Him. The next Sunday I went to the front of the church and told the pastor that I had given my life to Jesus and wanted to be baptized. I was baptized on the afternoon of Easter Sunday. The pastor gave me a lily from the flower arrangement in front of the pulpit.
I don’t remember anything else about being seven years old. Only the fact that I had given my life to Jesus and I will someday live in Heaven with Him. My seven year old grandson Alex was baptized this week. And I know, with out a doubt, that someday, he will be in Heaven with me"


I am so glad I found this before she lost her ability to type.

THE LONG GOODBYE

Alzheimer’s Disease is often called THE LONG GOODBYE and that is such an appropriate name. I have called it the slow death also. Carol has had beginning symptoms of AD since 1996 but real debilitating and visible actions of her daily life since about 2003-4. She first started with just short term memory but long term memories also came along and that was probably began THE LONG GOODBYE. But I could not carry on a conversation with her on our beautiful past activities. Names of people, places, things, etc. were a daily occurrence. This was when I first began to really feel that we were loosing part of her living person. I no longer had the girl I had married. A new girl was beginning to take shape. I inherited a great love for this new person but there is no doubt that it is a new person. Or at least a new personality.

A book has been written by this same name, “THE LONG GOODBYE”, written by Patti Davis about losing her father, Ronald Reagan to AD. I have not read it but will try to do so. So many illnesses take away only physical things but do not really affect the personality of the patient. AD strips the patient of their cognitive abilities as well as all the personal attributes. They also loose smell, taste, and later even hearing, and eating.

Some of the other caregivers I communicate with talk about being a “married widow”. Carol and I no longer talk about husband/wife things like the children, grandchildren, vacations, movies, entertainment, etc. We are no longer a typical husband and wife. I will never leave her and I have trouble hoping for a cure. I do hope for some kind of breakthrough that could return some of the brain functions that have been severely damaged. She takes medications to slow the disease down and I sometimes wonder if she would really have wanted to drag out what is now considered inevitable. But I continue to dance with the girl what brung me to the dance.

Home Care HELPER for Carol

We have had several ladies who specialize in Sr Home Care. They have all been from Ghana and have been a real help for Carol and me. They do some light house keeping and cooking for about 3 days per week. Adde is our current Helper and Carol really likes her. They look at a lot of picture books and journals. Photos of any kind are Carol’s favorite pastime and Addy has the patience to look at them with Carol. Adde’s mother in Ghanna loves to grow vegetables and we have planted a little garden here at our small yard, hoping that Carol will renew her enthusiasm with gardening. Things are just now starting to grow so we will see. Addy has a husband and 2 girls, 3 & 5 who come out to our house occasionally. Carol loves the girls and they play well together. Addy is expecting a baby boy in latle June or July and Carol gets excited when she notices the babies growth. Stay tuned for future GARDEN REPORTS.

Are Caregivers Blessed?????--I think so!!!!

I have been communicating (via the internet or support groups) with a lot of other Caregivers for a number of years and I see and feel so much pain and anguish in their lives. Many of them seem to blame God for the slow death they see their LO going through. They could have trouble describing their life as Blessed. So many Caregivers feel angry with God. Or certainly disappointed and confused over their understanding of A Loving God and His Son Jesus Christ. They question how a God could let this horrible situation exist in their lives. But,---- many of the Caregivers have a very strong belief in God and want to trust in Him for what they are going through. The patients vary all over the map as to their cognitive abilities and may have beliefs but are not able to communicate their faith. Others have just plain lost their apparent memory of their beliefs in anything. The patient does not have much hope to ever recover their memories. But---- the Caregivers have time to find God as their comforter, their counselor, and their need to develop a closer relationship with our Savior and our Lord. I feel that I am Blessed in this opportunity to care for Carol under the Lord's leadership. He is our piolot.

The A.D. person we used to know is now gone. I still love the current Carol but I miss the old Carol & realize that she is not likely to return. Another sad part is that I have now lost my own memory of who Carol used to be. I can not remember her smile, her laughter, our conversations, our 49 years of marriage. I have heard from other Caregivers that after our LO physically dies, the Caregiver usually gets the old memories back. I know that God has not forgotten us but I also have to constantly remind myself that I am still serving my Lord as his witness in these current times. It just isn’t the same witnessing as others might consider in their ministry. The sermon in our church last week spoke directly to the ears and understanding of a Caregiver. It was asking the question of “What are you hungry for.” The subject was that we are CRAVING for SIGNIFICANCE. It is good for all Christians to crave significance. Several of us agreed to this sermon’s impact on our life as Caregivers. Our significance is found in our relation ship with Christ. I was Created, Recreated and CALLED to;

Learn from Jesus
Commit to be a Servant
Move towards spiritual sacrifice (not just servitude)

You can listen or download this sermon, April 19, 2009 at:

http://rockwall.lakepointe.org/OnlineMessage/current_message.aspx

Listen to it with the heart of a Caregiver. I think you will feel BLESSED!!! bill

CAREGIVERS

Have you ever thought where our country would be without Caregivers to take care of our Alzheimer’s patients in the U.S. The costs to Medicare, Medicaid, Insurance, and state programs is over $148 million for the 5.3 million cases in the U.S. The costs to the Caregivers is bigger than that because gov programs do not cover much of the Cost of home care provided by caregivers. We have spouses taking care of spouses, children taking care of parents and/or in-laws and some siblings taking care of siblings. The health and death toll among the caregivers is staggering. It is a very hard job and most of it is 24/7. I have a lady that comes to our house 3 days a week for 6 hrs/day. She is a great help to both Carol and I but it is still very exhausting to me. I also have two children and 6 grandkids in Rockwall and of course that is a big benefit.

I want to tell you a little about the Caregivers I have communicated with since 2005 through message boards on Alzheimer’s Assoc and a private Blog called thealzheimerspouce.com Other folks are mostly ladies but there are a lot of men. Our outlook on caregiving is somewhat different for men vs woman but the main ties are basically the same. We still have to deal with the memory loss, the emotional problems, the anger outbursts, personal hygiene is a major problem, especially as incontinence reaches each family. My respect for the caregivers I have met is of the highest order and I ask each reader here to pray for the Caregivers as well as the patients. One of the oldest and still best reference book is “The 36 Hour Day” which kind of tells you the total and complete involvement of taking care of the Alzheimer’s patient.

Carol is on the Prowl for BABIES

Many of the experts say that late term AD patients have the mental level of a 2 yr. old child. I don’t know about that but Carol sure likes to watch and talk to young children. We purposely go to McDonalds, IHOP, and CiCi’s so that we can see the children. Sometime they are sitting closely and they seem to know that Carol loves them because they keep looking back at her and making faces when she makes faces at them. We have calling cards with “Thank you for being patient with my Wife. She has Alzheimer’s.” and I give one to the parents so they won’t think we are crazy. The results are just great. Once the mother encouraged her two girls to go over and talk to that nice lady. They came over to our booth. The smallest climbed up beside Carol and actually gave her a hug and a kiss. I just wish that Carol could have remembered it longer. We used to work in the nursery once a month and that was always a good day but I had to give it up because my severally degenerated back made me worry that I might fall when picking them up and/or carrying them. But Carol still seems to have a vague memory of our Sundays with the Babies.

CAROL ELDRIDGE AND AD

Carol has had (AD), Alzheimer’s disease, since about 1996. First symptoms were loss of short term memory. Her Drs. finally ruled out other possibilities in 2003 and we were ready to accept Alzheimer’s as the cause of her dementia and loss of cognitive ability. Carol stopped driving (reluctantly) 3-4 years ago and it was very hard for her to accept. Her ability to cook, and do more than minor items around the house ended about that time. Alzheimer’s Assoc. list 7 stages AD and Carol progressed through most of them. Many patients skip around or even skip a stage altogether. Carol is now in stage #6 and moving into stage #7. You can go to the Alz.org below and read about the 7 stages.

http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_stages_of_alzheimers.asp#stage5

Carol does not remember any of your names but usually recognizes your face and will try to talk to you. Unfortunately you probably won’t understand her. Conversation with her is almost impossible but she still enjoys it. She still handles eating OK and does not seem to have any physical failures like continence. I am dreading stage #7. She does like to “talk” to you and likes a hug. She loves to drive around and eat out. Church and ABF is the highlight of her week. I will try to post her “Christian testimony” soon. She wrote it as about the last thing she was able to do on the computer herself. Quit playing bridge and solitaire on computer at about the same time.She received a pacemaker in 2005 and no longer has any of the episodes of nausea, vomiting, passing out that she had experienced every month or so. Her heart was simply pausing and causing the problems. Nothing to do with Alzheimer’s apparently. I’ll be posting on frequent occasions and hope you will appreciate what Carol and I are going through. I also hope you will be able to understand the horrible results on all patients and their caregivers. It is a horrible way to die and so far that is the only outcome. I look forward to hearing from you.

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Bill & Carol